I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
