he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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