Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
