no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
