dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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