she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
