covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
