We're facebook friends in real life
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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