I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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