im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
