im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
