She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
