when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
