I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
