I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize