Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
