Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
