Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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