Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
