i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
