i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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