went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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