phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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