How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We were destined to go to rehab together
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
