I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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