Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
