eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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