I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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