ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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