Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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