Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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