dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
