Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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