I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
