he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
