the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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