You just made me feel so damn special
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm passing your future prison.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
