FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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