Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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