i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
