I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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