1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
