A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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