At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Someone signed my nipple.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
