YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize