i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
