Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
