i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Drake has all the answers
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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