I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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