Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
