What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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