she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
