I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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