I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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