Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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