I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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