Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
