happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
