So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
