Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
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