Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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