I think I died a long time ago.
Jerry, you need to find god
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
All the doctor said was why
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
