why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
