I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize