I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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