he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
