Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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