On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
