Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
