he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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